The Sports Wannabe

It has been a while, but the uproar over Microsoft’s new ad campaign pulled me back in.

The tech community has absolutely ripped Microsoft’s new ad campaign featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates hanging out in a shoe store and spending the weekend with a new family. Most call them confusing, which I can handle. What I cannot grasp is why people are looking for a commercial that sells an operating system.

Apple has speant the last two years taking shots at the Windows operating system through print and television ads. To attempt to sell a product that has been portrayed as “buggy” and slow for the past two years is a fool’s mission. And while Microsoft should shoulder most of the blame for their arrogant reluctance to respond, we must all realize this isn’t a time to worry about pushing more Vista DVDs out the doors in Redmond.

Microsoft needs a makeover. They’re iconic founder is erroneously known as the world’s wealthiest person. They don’t design sleek, compatible and often proprietary software that works in perfect sync. They sell a product that within the next 8 years will have become completely obsolete (thick operating systems). This same product is widely regarded as the “boring” competitor to Mac OSX. They have become the stuffy, old member on the tech industry’s board of trustees. This is no match for the mojo of Google or Apple.

This is a less than sympathetic company.

The solution? Establish yourself as the “common man’s” OS. Paint Apple as elitist and arrogant. Show the world that your ads can be humorous (sort of..) too, and that your OS is helping to make the world a better place, as demonstrated in the follow up to the demonized Sienfeld-Gates productions.

Getting a bump in the number of widgets sold when one is the size of a Microsoft is inconsequential. Repairing and maintaining the reputation of an established brand is what makes or breaks a company in the tech industry.

Till the next time I eat a churro,

Samuel

Once you get past most of the politically correct BS-ing that one will encounter whenever the topic of women’s sports comes up, the American public shares the same sentiment: Women’s sports are slower, less skilled and therefore less interesting than their men’s counterpart.

As far as American sports go, this is an air-tight argument. Softball, the WNBA, and the future women’s pro football league are obviously inferior to the MLB, NBA and the 2027 NFL season.

But when I have to watch soccer match, I will take the women’s game any day for the following reasons:

1) Flopping

The flopping in men’s soccer has destroyed any chance the game had of catching on in the US. Nancy Kerrigan has shown more composure after an injury than any player in the UEFA in the past 15 years. Then the charade that is bringing out “medics” to scrape the sobbing Spaniard onto a stretcher is more than I will ever be able to stomach.

2) Hope Solo
Besides being quite attractive, she also is sort of the BA of women’s soccer. She called out her coach, backup, and team in the middle the 07′ world cup after being benched. And what punishment did she recieve? The coach was fired, and she received tons of media coverage, resulting in an endorsement deal with Nike. Let’s see Chad Johnson do that.

That’s it, that’s all I need. Men’s soccer is that pathetic.

“Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions.”

-Edward R. Murrow

It seems that everyone from presidential candidates to PTA members are very quick to blame the George W. Bush for the current state of our nation, as well how we are viewed internationally. While Mr. Bush may have had the final word on most of the decisions that have destroyed our country’s reputation, not to mention our economy, a closer look reveals that the American people shoulder just as much blame.

Time after time, we allowed this faux cowboy to charm us with his cute mispronunciations and naive slogans. We preached his mindless rhetoric, in an effort to impress our co-workers with our vast foreign policy knowledge. We demanded that we “smoke them out of their holes” and rationalized major setbacks by explaining that “(insert whatever the latest blunder from the executive branch) is hard work”.

Your bravado was reinforced by your daily glance at fox news and adding cnn.com as one of your favorite websites. Why would Tony Snow lie to you?

Did you ever consider these “news outlets” may have an agenda? Were people blindly supporting this crusade because they feared the perception of not “supporting the troops”? Was the Bush Administration coming down with a bad case of McCarthyism?

Instead of questioning authority, you decided to go buy a god bless America bumper sticker and play “Born in The USA” over and over (naturally not listening to anything but the chorus, and contemplating how you could be as patriotic as The Boss). You clamored for every piece of news on the war, but never sought out independent information. Why do something as inefficient as that when watching 24/7 news channels is so much more exciting?!? The sexual energy Bill O’Reilly brings to a newscast in undeniable. His show was a newscast right?

Yep, you remember the good ol’ days. Crank up your John Mellencamp, because you won’t want to hear this.

This is all your fault. All of it.

As a 14 year old sitting in my 9th grade civics class, I distinctly remember our teacher telling us how we needed to invade Iraq to prevent another attack. At least half of our class was confused. Isn’t Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan? Why are we going into some other country that they say is making “Weapons of Mass Destruction”? If they had those why would they have to use a plane as their weapon to take down the towers?

I swear to you, I asked all these questions. All of which were met with scoffs and assertions that my mental capacity was insufficient to comprehend an issue this complex.

I say this not to parade my own foresight, as I wish I was wrong. I use this as an example.

I didn’t watch news networks. I didn’t try to dissect the President’s barely coherent speeches. I just put together the non-specific, completely factual pieces that contained no spin or bias.

In other words, I was ignorant enough to see why this was illogical.

Now, I may be expecting entirely too much from the American public, but I would hope we can learn from our period of low brain oxygen mistakes.  My advice: Stop being so damn stupid. Think for yourselves. No, wait. Just think period. Use your brain. For one WHOLE DAY, don’t read, listen to or watch anything that has to do with celebrity gossip. Go read the world news section of the newspaper. Write down the definition, in your mind, of the following phrases: supporting the troops, patriotism, terrorist, Anti-American, Diplomacy.

Now, remove any non-tangible words or objects from those definitions. If there is anything left, way to go. Looks like two of those brain cells bumped into each other and out came logic. If nothing remains, go ask your mother why she decided to pollute the gene pool.

Remember Mr. Murrow’s words at the top of this post. If we ever plan to regain our standing in the world, that is where we need to start.

Till the next time I watch Good Night, and Good Luck,

Samuel

I realize you have already been asked this question. A lot. And before you send me an email explaining why you believe your candidate of choice is the second coming of Regan, let me explain two things. First, I do not care. I was 6 months old when Regan left office. I know about his policies, politics and personality. But, attempting to remind me of the good old days when Regan was in office will be telling me “Elect Mitt Romney and he will privatize craping yourself”. Secondly, while I’m sure you think you are “engaging in democracy”, the odds that some psuedo-patriotic dumb ass wearing an American flag t-shirt from Wal-Mart will show me the light are pretty slim.

So, who am I supporting, you ask? I have watched most of the debates, taken the online tests to see who I am most in line with, and read through each candidate’s economic plan (oh wait, none of them actually have one). After mulling it over, I came to one conclusion: It is so ass backwards that we vote for a candidate and not on issues I will refuse to support anyone in this election.

I have heard more about Obama’s race, Clinton’s “crying episode”, Romney’s religion, Guiliani’s bad day September 11th, and Edward’s Father than I ever cared to know. I have no problem knowing about the person I am voting for, but I care more about what they believe in politically. How many people in your office have told you who the will be voting for, but give no explanation beyond a name? They can’t elaborate because they have no idea why they tattooed a comb with “Edwards” across the handle on their ass, except that some talking head told them to.

Lets even look at this on a larger scale. How many people (especially the under 23 crowd) will scream they political affiliation from the rooftops but couldn’t explain there stance on tax reform other than “They are the minus numbers on my paycheck right?”.

So, when I am asked who I support in this election, I will respond with this: “I plan to vote for the letter “X”, because I feel it is grossly underused. Out of curiosity, what part of (insert name of cardboard cutout here)’s economic stimulus plan are you most optimistic about?” . Then I will prepare for “we will.. at the end of the day… get more.. money?”.

Just nod yes, and pat them on the head.

Till next time I speak to someone,

Samuel

Sometimes we have moments that give us perspective. The proverbial slap in the face to remind you that “it could be worse”. The moment when your shoulders slowly slump, your eyes glaze over, and you can feel the moment sink into every bone in your body. For a moment, your world has equilibrium. Can you remember the last time you felt this?

It may seem naive, and it may feel as if you have heard this same bullshit thrown at you time and time again. You may even suggest I misread the cough medicine directions again. But, lets be honest, how else does one follow up a column on the NFL draft?

I want you to stop everything. Turn off the TV, iPod, and laptop (no wait! keep that on… just close TMZ.com). Stop doing your make up or slathering more hair gel on. Stop and just think with no distractions.

Since, I can assume you haven’t done any of these things, turn off your laptop now. I don’t want you reading this. You are too self absorbed, too stressed, and have drank a wee bit too much mass media Kool-Aid to be here.

For those of you who actually set down your (insert radiation emitting device here), and decided to read, and those of you whose ego is too big to do something the screen told you to do, I will continue.

Today, I had the pleasure of dealing with an individual who helped me more than she could have ever imagined. She was displeased with my handling of her computer repair. It had been out too long, I had been rude, the lighting wasn’t right and the humidity was not to her liking. As I explained to her that the viruses her pornography habit spawned were causing the delay. Naturally, she angrily “explained” she had never looked at such content and was offended that I would suggest such an act from a woman of such high moral fiber. More Bullshit.

As I was reamed by this valued customer, my eyes wandered to the right of the bulging vain in said customer’s head. I watched as a distraught soul in a burgundy coat wrestled with a power cable. I walked away from the sweating, and now purplish mound of anger to assist the now hog tied woman whom had drawn me in moments earlier.

As I reached for the cable to help assist, she recoiled when seeing my hand.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to scare you… can I give you a hand?”, I implored.

“Ye.. yes, thank you.”, the woman uttered from under the heavy wool hat.

As I helped organize the pile of computer components that Mary had been wrangling, she explained the reason for her trip. She wanted pictures taken off of her computer, and turned into a photo CD. As she attempted to pull the worlds from her jumbled mind, her eyes wandered across the ground, looking for confidence to make it through this conversation.

Throughout the process of finding the exact folder to extract the photos from, Mary explained to me that this was her son’s computer. She read the exact folder location from a piece of paper. Her son had written her directions, on his goodbye note, before he ended his life at age fourteen. He had set aside photos for her, that he wanted to comfort her with.

I tell you all this not in attempt to pry a tear from your eyes or sound dramatic. I’m not making this for a future chain letter that I will distribute through whatever social networking site is in vogue 4 years from now. I only did this for me, and I decided to bring a few of you along.

I asked you to free yourselves of distractions while you read this. This wasn’t an attempt to have you pay closer attention and attempt to comprehend my superiority . I just wanted you to feel the emptiness that Mary is confronting. She can’t numb the pain with television pundits, Plain White T’s songs, or a text message.

Obviously, most of us could never truly feel the pain of loosing a child in this manor. But, we can expose ourselves to the real world. We can quit numbing ourselves with excess. The real world isn’t normally sad. But the only time we see through the smoke emitted from society’s hash pipe is during tragedy.

Next time you decide to lay into someone over an “injustice”, or decide to slam a celebrity for the way they live theirs lives, take a moment to wipe away the fog. Ask yourself, “was this the darkest day of my life? Is this worth reacting as if it was?”.

Soak it up. You just thought for yourself.

Till the next time I get it,

Samuel

Since my beloved Vikings choked away their playoff chances over the past two weeks, it is now NFL draft season for me. The following is the first round as I see it, based on the end of the regular season standings. Obviously, these projections are subject to change and will be updated frequently as we move closer to draft day.

Round 1

[1] Miami: DT Glen Dorsey [LSU]
This seems to be the consensus number one at this point. An overpowering player that seems as NFL ready as anyone in this year’s draft.

[2] St. Louis: DE Chris Long [Virginia]

The rams need help on defense… anywhere. Long will be a welcome addition to the touch football squad we call the Rams.

[3] Kansas City: OT Jake Long [Michigan]
KC needs to get their o-line together soon. Larry Johnson is already starting to show the Kevin Garnett “knife wielding” face.

[4] Oakland: RB Darren McFadden [Arkansas]
An absolute freak. Go to youtube if you don’t understand.

[5] Atlanta: QB Matt Ryan [Boston College]

While I believe Atlanta will inevitably take Ryan, I’m not quite sold on him as an NFL QB.

[6] New York Jets: DE/LB Vernon Gholston [Ohio State]

6′4″, 260, 4.6 speed. God help any Jets personal in Radio City Music Hall if they pass on this guy.

[7] New England (via San Fransisco): LB James Laurantias [Ohio State]

Belichick says he must trust his linebackers and therefore shys away from drafting them. He also says a lot of things, none of which he means. (quickstory: I “played” against Laurantias in high school. And by play, I mean I was a 9th string o-lineman/whatever position couldn’t possibly touch the ball. I had one play “against” him during my junior year. Summary: I was told to block him. I started to, then jumped at his cleats and rolled into a fetal position. If he could overcome my efforts, he will do just fine in New England)

[8] Baltimore: QB Brian Brohm [Louisville]

How the discussion will go in the draft room: “well, we do have kyl-… yep, call in the pick.”

[9] Cincinnati: DT Sedrick Ellis [USC]

Cincy’s D was pathetic this year. Ellis will plug up the middle and could start early.

[10] New Orleans: S Kenny Phillips [Miami]

If you saw the Saints face the Colts in prime time earlier this season, you know why they need help.

[11] Buffalo: WR Malcolm Kelly [OU]

Buffalo is start to build a decent offense. If Marshawn Lynch is going to improve, they need to develop a consistent passing attack

[12] Denver: WR DeSean Jackson [Cal]

It appears Rod Smith may have hit the end of his career, and Brandon Stokley isn’t that good when he doesn’t have Payton, Marvin, Reggie and Joseph surrounding him. The Broncos need a wide out and DeSean Jackson will give Jay Cutler a great explosive option.

[13] Carolina: LB Dan Connor [Penn State]

Dan Morgan’s durability has put his career in jeopardy and where better than “Linebacker U” to look for a successor?

[14] Chicago: QB Andre Woodson [Kentucky]

Honestly, I don’t see Woodson getting picked here, but this mock doesn’t take off season moves into account. I expect Donovan McNabb to be wearing navy next year. But if not, Woodson could very well turn into a McNabb like player (strong arm, can move but only when necessary).

[15] Detroit: OT Ryan Clady [Boise State]

The lions really dropped the ball on George foster and they now need to beef up their o-line more than ever.

[16] Arizona: CB Malcolm Jenkins [Ohio State]

Arizona needs add some tools to their pass defense in order to put their talented passing offense in good feild position.
[17] Minnesota: WR Adarius Bowman [Oklahoma St.]

If this guy ends up on the vikes, expect him to compete with AD for my man crush… he is the most underrated play in this draft and head choach Brad Childress will jump at the chance to have a physical wide reciever to block outside for AD and can also be explosive after the catch. The thing that may put Childress off is a couple of easy drops on his film, which the vikes have seen too much this year.

[18] Houston: OT Jeff Otah [Pitt]

Please NFL, get the Texans a left tackle. We have a guy up in Minnesota we are willing to trade for scratch offs… just think about it.

[19] Philadelphia: DE Derrick Harvey [Florida]

With Javon Kearse running out of steam, the eagles desperatly need a pass rush to keep the quarteback honest. Derrick Harvey would give them a huge boost.

[20] Dallas (via Cleveland): CB Mike Jenkins [South Florida]

Dallas needs a #2 CB to compliment Terrance Newman. Mike Jenkins has huge upside and would be a perfect pick.

[21] Tampa Bay: OT Sam Baker [USC]

A wide out wouldn’t be a bad call here but they need to make a path for Cadillac Williams in order to keep the D honest.

[22] Washington: DT Frank Okam [Texas]

No one can criticize last years pick of Laron Landry, but they also needed help on the d-line. They will address that area this year with Okam.

[23] Seattle: RB Jonathan Stewart [Oregon]

Shawn Alexander has become a non-factor and bringing in Stewart, a regional talent, seems to be a great fit.

[24] Pittsburgh: OT Gosder Cerilus [Boston College]

With Alan Faneca more than likely having played his last game in black and gold (unless the pirates sign him to play center), Cerilus will be asked to fill the void.

[25] Tennessee: WR Mario Manningham [Michigan]

Tennessee needs to give Vince Young quality wide outs to throw to (and numerous other necessities), and Mario Manningham would give the Titans a legitimate deep threat for the first time in many years.

[26] NY Giants: LB Keith Rivers [Miami]

The New York Football Giants would greatly benefit from a

[27] San Diego: LB Erin Henderson [Maryland]

His brother has worked out alright, the Chargers will hope he follows the same path to combine with Shawn Merriman to punish runners.

[28] Jacksonville: WR Early Doucet [LSU]

With Matt Jones looking like a total bust and Reggie Williams taking baby steps, the Jags need a wideout.

[29] New Orleans (via Dallas): LB Jerod Mayo [Tennessee]

Yet another hole that needs to be patched on D.

[30] San Francisco (via Indianapolis): DE Quenti Groves [Auburn]

While they showed flashes of talent against the run, the 49er’s pass rush was pretty ugly. Groves will help both categories.

[31] Green Bay: CB Antoine Cason [Arizona]

Cason should be able to step in and help the pack become one of the best defenses in the league.

[32] New England: Decided that the rule book didn’t apply to Bill Belichick…

Till next time I stay up screaming at a picture of Troy Williamson,

Samuel

True rap is dying.

While this may sound like bizarre version of a lecture your grandfather told you, this one is true.

Soulja Boy exemplifies all that is wrong with the current state of rap and hip hop music. He has achieved success with the catchy yet moronic lyrics on his single “Cranky That (Soulja Boy)”. While repeating one’s name over and over on a track has become commonplace in the rap game, no one matches Soulja Boy’s embedded marketing techniques. His CD is titled “souljaboytellem.com”. He has released youtube clips of himself teaching viewers how to perform the dance from his first single. He commonly sports his signature sun glasses with his name printed on on the lenses.

Even Soulja Boy acknowledges that people are mostly attracted to his persona, not necessarily his “music”, as he explains in this interview.

His second single, “Soulja Girl” (because we needed more soulja _____) uses the same “YOOUUUUUU” chorus as his first single. Yep, that is creativity. He has also been kind enough to repeat his name roughly 45 times in “crank that” to make sure those of us with short term memory issues don’t forget who to send the hate mail to.

Plies, another rapper who has just burst onto the scene, is a stark contrast to Soulja Boy. Plies, a strong advocate those who cannot afford adiquite representation in the legal system, speaks about many social issues in his music, as well as what is actually on his mind (frequently women, but in a respectful way while telling it like it is). He also shows humility and appreciation for those who support him. At a recent show I attended, Plies thanked the crowd numerous times, once explaining that he understands what one might have given up to pay for their ticket and how much that means to him. It was a genuine display from someone in an industry that is as arrogant as they come.

While this is an encouraging beacon of hope, he most likely will continue to be overshadowed by rappers peddling instructional dance recordings and promoting misogyny, ignorance and shear stupidity.

If you really want to listen to this garbage, do so. But first listen to the greats that paved the way for these stereotype feeding morons. My suggested list would include:

• Tupac
• Notorious BIG
• Snoop Dogg (earlier releases)
• NWA
• Dr. Dre
• The Game (”Dream”)
• Public Enemy
• Jay-Z
• Eminem (”Stan” “The Way I Am” “Cleaning Out My Closet” “Lose Yourself” “Mosh” and many others)
• Kanye West (”Jesus Walks” “Through The Wire”)
• Outkast
• Nas
• Lauryn Hill
• The Fugees

And there are many more. This is what we should be celebrating. This is what rap was intended to be, an avenue for voicing what you think and feel, not an audio track for aerobics.

Till the next time I sprain my ankle trying to crank that,

Samuel

Little kids scare me… A lot. Individually, they are almost tolerable, but when looking out over a sea of elementary students I truly want to pop a cyanide pill.

Why?

Because they are all morons.

One could once notice a difference in the “grit” or “work ethic” of two age groups by comparing themselves to their grandparents. Now, one can see the difference when comparing high school students to middle schoolers.

This isn’t coming from a 80 year old who only wants to throw out words of wisdom as they cling to this earth. In fact, this opinion is from a 19 year old moron who is scared.

I do not care if high schoolers can find Iraq on a map (which, by the way I can, I just tried). Trust me, if your job really requires that, it will come up in the training and you can roll with it as if you knew. I am more concerned that they have no ability to distinguish between factual journalism and a sitcom. I am more concerned that none of them read the newspaper. I am more concerned that they will throw “facts” about global warming and the “war” in Iraq around when they have no idea what they mean.

Watching “An Inconvenient Truth” and accidently stumbling across Fox News while trying to find MTV Spring Break is not research. It is not being a meaningful citizen, or even meaningful human being. We are so self consumed with our own lives (lining up for days to get $50 off a laptop or becoming outraged over Ellen DeGeneres’ pet adoption exploits), that we are devolving (or despawning for those of you who don’t acknowledge evolution, or don’t know what it is) into animals. No excuse me, animals have better work ethic, we are just dumb asses.

You may say “we have created incredible technology!”. Well put your pink phone away and listen. “We” didn’t create or contribute to technology, a small small fraction of the population did. Then a marketing team talked us peons into giving them our credit card number, then we brought whatever it was back to the store we purchased it from and yelled at them because we are too damn stupid to use it.

Is this logic scattered? Yes. Is it completely true? Yes.

We have become what politicians want us to become, mindless drones who will repeat and buy into whatever they threaten us with:

“If we don’t fight them there then we will fight them here”

“Not approving universal health care is ignoring sick children”

“The bible was the word of the lord”

“We are going to smoke them out of their holes!”

Sound familiar? And you’ve probably even said a couple of those finely crafted lines while “debating” someone at a neighborhood barbecue while sipping a Mike’s Hard Lemonade . You used this to defend your point because you stopped thinking a long time ago.

So do us all a favor, when your kids sit down to eat at dinner, tell them to put the cell phones away, turn on the news (not anything on a fox or cnn network), and talk about what was just show during the commercial breaks. But don’t take it as the “word of the lord”, criticize it. Make your kids question everything. And while you are patting yourself on the back for living up to that “#1 Mom or Dad” mug, you may just realize you actually learned something.

Your kids will thank you later, and keep in mind, they will be choosing your retirement home.

Till next time I watch Fox News after a long day at work,

Samuel

As I sit here, gazing out my window watching the first snow fall of the year and sipping hot cocoa, I’m reminded of what the holidays are really about: trying to get good gifts while not sounding like a d-bag for asking for them. Material things make the world go ’round and what better time to show you a few of my favorites for this holiday season. (Full disclosure, I do receive a portion of the sale if you click on the links below and make a purchase. This wasn’t my motivation for this post but I figured why not? If you like what you see so far from this blog support us! Thanks!)

DISABLE ADBLOCKERS TO SEE PICTURES BELOW 

Gifts under $25 (When a card would make you look like a cheapskate)

You really can’t go wrong with a book because it is like telling the recipient “I think you are intelligent enough that you may read on a regular basis… here is this large book I am confident you will finish”. Now, since that is probably expecting a lot from most relatives, giving them a book like Stephen Colbert’s latest release is a good call. Hilarious and to the point, Uncle Cletus might actually find a use for it other than a door stop.

I received a wallet a few years back and sort of shrugged but it was a surprisingly great gift. Unless the guy you are shopping for has a tried and true wallet he won’t let go, this is a perfect choice.

Gifts under $60 (A significant person in your life but lets be real)

While the NHL has taken a massive nose dive in the last five years, the video games have been among the best out there. The beautiful thing about NHL video games is that don’t have to be a hockey fan at all, just skate in the right direction and push the right buttons.

Always popular with the “business d-bag on the go”. Give him this and tell him to only use it at his desk or in his car.

Gifts under $100 (How this gift goes over will affect you home life or career)

Guys that don’t own an NFL jersey, well, you gotta wonder about them just a little bit. And why not get “Purple Jesus’” Jersey for christmas, it’s only right.

I reluctantly have grown to love this game. It is great on its own, but if you get a few… err.. “Pepsi’s” in you, it can become a religious experience.

Gifts under $200 (They better appreciate this that ungrateful little piece.. )

GPS is an amazing tool that very few people use. This is most likely going to be the big gift item of the year as the prices are now reasonable. This set is from the very easy to use TomTom company and includes lots of must have accessories.

Gifts under $400 (make it rain)

Not only a video game console, but can be used to stream HD content to another room from your computer.

This Linux based computer is great for someone who just wants a basic web browser and word processor that is ultra mobile.

There it is, my first holiday gift guide. Best of luck!

Till next time I find myself on amazon,

Samuel

We have seen it time and time again: Star athlete retires from his or her respective sport, and since they are compulsive competitors, they need to get back into the sport in a capacity that doesn’t require their broken bodies. No one can fault them for this, betting $25,000 a hand in Vegas and berating your children with unrealistic expectations isn’t enough for your average gas station attendant, much less a former pro athlete.

While we have seen this scenario play out numerous times (Magic Johnson,Larry Bird, 2010 Reggie Miller, 2012 Micheal Jordan), we haven’t seen anything close to what Kevin McHale and Isiah Thomas have so umm… effectively demonstrated?

In Mchale’s time in Minnesota, he wasted much of the career one of the top 5 power forwards of all time, he fired two well respected coaches in an effort to pass the buck, and ruined the team’s future by having draft picks taken away in a botched contract agreement. In fact, the only thing more hideous than the teams McHale has put on the court over the past 12 years are the sweaters he wore while doing it.

Thomas, has also managed to destroy his team’s roster in his position as a general manager (although, in all fairness, who thought having 13 guards on a roster would be a bad idea?). But, in a clear effort to trump McHale, he also landed his franchise in the middle of a sexual harassment and wrongful termination case that will cost owner James Dolan 11.6 million dollars. He has also made blatantly racist remarks aimed at whites (my sunburned race has taken too much!).

So what makes these two special individuals so bad at their jobs? The same reason they were so good at their former jobs, arrogance. They were confident they were the best and would always be the best choice to take the last shot. Unfortunately, that bravado tends lead to tunnel vision. This may be why Thomas hasn’t listened to those around him when making deals and didn’t listen to his team when making the decision to start Stephon Marbury after his outburst this past week, even after his team voted for Marbury not to start.

This is a common stumbling block for any leader, whether it is the President (cough cough last seven years), or just the manager of an Unnamed Large Electronics Retailer location (cough cough everyone I work with).

So, in a few years when all of you NBA GMs out there start blowing up Reggie Miller’s phone, think about the aforementioned individuals, then call Mark Madsen.

Till next time I watch a Timberwolves game,

Samuel