The Sports Wannabe

Little kids scare me… A lot. Individually, they are almost tolerable, but when looking out over a sea of elementary students I truly want to pop a cyanide pill.

Why?

Because they are all morons.

One could once notice a difference in the “grit” or “work ethic” of two age groups by comparing themselves to their grandparents. Now, one can see the difference when comparing high school students to middle schoolers.

This isn’t coming from a 80 year old who only wants to throw out words of wisdom as they cling to this earth. In fact, this opinion is from a 19 year old moron who is scared.

I do not care if high schoolers can find Iraq on a map (which, by the way I can, I just tried). Trust me, if your job really requires that, it will come up in the training and you can roll with it as if you knew. I am more concerned that they have no ability to distinguish between factual journalism and a sitcom. I am more concerned that none of them read the newspaper. I am more concerned that they will throw “facts” about global warming and the “war” in Iraq around when they have no idea what they mean.

Watching “An Inconvenient Truth” and accidently stumbling across Fox News while trying to find MTV Spring Break is not research. It is not being a meaningful citizen, or even meaningful human being. We are so self consumed with our own lives (lining up for days to get $50 off a laptop or becoming outraged over Ellen DeGeneres’ pet adoption exploits), that we are devolving (or despawning for those of you who don’t acknowledge evolution, or don’t know what it is) into animals. No excuse me, animals have better work ethic, we are just dumb asses.

You may say “we have created incredible technology!”. Well put your pink phone away and listen. “We” didn’t create or contribute to technology, a small small fraction of the population did. Then a marketing team talked us peons into giving them our credit card number, then we brought whatever it was back to the store we purchased it from and yelled at them because we are too damn stupid to use it.

Is this logic scattered? Yes. Is it completely true? Yes.

We have become what politicians want us to become, mindless drones who will repeat and buy into whatever they threaten us with:

“If we don’t fight them there then we will fight them here”

“Not approving universal health care is ignoring sick children”

“The bible was the word of the lord”

“We are going to smoke them out of their holes!”

Sound familiar? And you’ve probably even said a couple of those finely crafted lines while “debating” someone at a neighborhood barbecue while sipping a Mike’s Hard Lemonade . You used this to defend your point because you stopped thinking a long time ago.

So do us all a favor, when your kids sit down to eat at dinner, tell them to put the cell phones away, turn on the news (not anything on a fox or cnn network), and talk about what was just show during the commercial breaks. But don’t take it as the “word of the lord”, criticize it. Make your kids question everything. And while you are patting yourself on the back for living up to that “#1 Mom or Dad” mug, you may just realize you actually learned something.

Your kids will thank you later, and keep in mind, they will be choosing your retirement home.

Till next time I watch Fox News after a long day at work,

Samuel